Next

Asher is through nursing
He'd rather brush his teeth
with his sister

I was the last to give up the
nearness and routine
that demand mother and child
meet to say goodnight

to nurture one another
with family skin

In newborn hours
I would pray for the month
that would allow my body a reprieve

(devoted as it's been to forty-three months of
another's nourishment
pregnant
nursing
pregnant/nursing
nursing)

Only to find it grieves me
that my infant is a toddler
bow-legged boy crouching
to examine ants out of place
in his Grammy's kitchen

Easter Weekend

Painted Pony

Waiting for the Grand Hunt

Just throw it on in there.

Easter Eggs and Bruised Legs

     Brandon's sister, Bryn, sent him a picture of her bruised leg last night. Just the latest casualty of Easter. Those indoor Easter egg hunts for adults can get violent! I think he threw her against the piano stool so I could make a go for the final green egg with a 2009 nickel inside! 

     Oh wait, Easter's supposed to be about what comes after the casualty. We did send praises for that throughout the day. 

     Brandon and I took Anali and Asher to the Easter Eggstravaganza that Sound Life Church puts on every year. I was so pleased to see how delighted they were to find eggs to put in their baskets. They didn't push or run or scream or take more than their share. They gently contemplated each plastic egg before placing it among their spoils and "searching" for another small treasure. Asher knew just what to do; I was impressed. And Anali, sweet girl, stood and watched with glee as others swarmed the field. She might have been content just to watch the festivities had she not learned there was candy inside the eggs. Even then, she abandoned the hunt early to return to the line for pony rides, which are harder to come by than raspberry Tootsies. 

     On Sunday, at Grammy and Grandpa's, the kids continued the celebratory egg hunting. As I set out the eggs, Asher followed, banging them (hard-boiled this time) on the furniture to ensure no one could actually eat the splintered eggs. He enjoyed rehiding them, finding them, putting them in the basket, toddling around, falling, placing the eggs back in the basket for a repeat. When it officially began, Anali put a few in her basket before pausing to ensure her brother got a few in his own. Lately, she has been really looking out for Asher. It was so precious to watch her help him fill his basket before filling her own. Braggedy. Brag. Brag. Brag. Asher, for his part, let her.

     Tana fixed a hearty spread, and we all got fat and happy like Cadbury eggs.

     Then, came the rugby match cloaked as an adults-only indoor Easter egg hunt. Bryn, as usual, won, with a grand prize of $4.35. I was a close second at $3.70. I figure, that's at least a latte! Anali got a kick out of watching her parents wrestle for coins. Asher almost had a stroke amidst the mayhem. Bryn will recover from her injuries, I think.

     Pictures to follow.

I've Got to Start Somewhere

It's been so long since I've kept up with this blog that I struggle to know where to start. I'm looking forward to catching up and keeping up now. I think I can do it. I feel guilty for not posting Asher and Anali's big events over the past few months. So I'll have to backtrack and post on Asher's first birthday, his first steps, and Anali's funny goings-on. Oh, what precious babies I've got! For now, I'll start with today. 

Today is the first day of my Spring Break, the first real break I can remember in nearly two years. Certainly, I've had weekends, and I only work part-time (supposedly), but having just finished my master's, I can truly rest without research or writing looming over my shoulder for the first time is what feels like an eternity. That's so exciting to me. I have missed doing so many of the things I love. I'm excited to learn how to use my camera better, to garden, to organize the kids' baby pictures, to clean my house (I can't remember the last time I really cleaned. When I don't have time to do it, that's when I actually crave doing it.). 

But you know what I really miss most? Brandon. I gave Anali and Asher the best of my attention in those hours I got to be home, yet it was Brandon that made my leaving home to study possible. I was stressed and grumpy, and he was patient and giving. Not perfect, but nearly. 

I'm looking forward to studying Brandon, now, with the dedication that I studied literacy and the tenderness that comes to me as a mother but not so readily as a wife. It seems any goodness I have in me is expended elsewhere and Brandon gets the weariness. It's about time my husband feels cherished again. I sure like him. I hope he still likes me. [Insert pitiful smile.]

I'm also excited to catch up with my friends, if they'll have me back. I'm afraid I've been less than attentive for the past year and a half, as I've lived in survival mode trying to balance family, school, and work. Hi, Michelle, Gina. I do remember you!

It's sure hard to understand why in my children's infancy I would choose to go back to school. It sure didn't make a lot of sense, and I had to reconcile the decision constantly with the truth I believed as I started down this path. Even now, on the other side of my degree, I wonder what I was thinking. But I have to know that God is God and He calls Himself sovereign for a reason. He partnered with me in my classes at UW at the same time He partnered with Brandon as he put the kids to bed by himself. He comforted our children, I believe, and covered them - and me - with His grace. The far-reaches of God's lovingkindness is what I've learned in this process. And the character of His omnipresence.

For the first time in months, I feel present again, myself. Hello, Life!

Love, 

Rachel

I'll Be Back

My thesis is due February 24. My presentation is March 10, Asher's birthday. Check with me March 11. I'll be back. I promise. And I'll be very, very happy!

Here are a few pictures to tide you over.

Propaganda and Constantinople

This evening, as we were driving home from the hardware store with the kids in the back seat, Brandon and I were discussing who was to put which child to bed. Normally, we both participate in the nightly rituals, but for one reason or another (football, e-bay), Brandon has left the routines to me the past few nights. This evening, in the car, Anali overheard me asking Daddy to put her to bed.
"No, I want Mommy. I want Mommy," she gently wailed.
Parents laugh up front.
Eventually, unlike my junior high writers, she realized she would need a reason or detail to support that claim.
"Gotta org-a-nize my books," Anali explains.
Parents laugh.
"No, sweetie. It's time for bed," Mother coaxes.
"Daddy's back hurts!" Anali reasons.
"Propaganda!" Mother exclaims.
Parents laugh.
"Propaganda!" Anali parrots.
Parents laugh.
Anali sits thoughtfully in back.
"On-stan-en-en-en-OPAL!" she calls out. [Constantinople! A vague reference to Dr. Seuss's Hop On Pop and the biggest word she knows.]
What she was really saying was "Look at all the big words I know!"
Parents laugh uproariously up front.
Anali kicks the back of my seat, quite pleased with herself.
Asher chimes in "Dadada. Bababa. You think you can say big words? Check out these syllables! Babababa! Dadadada!"
Parents congratulate themselves on their fine parenting skills resulting in such brilliant and engaging children.
Mother puts Asher to bed.
Father puts Anali to bed.
And to all a good night.

For Overseas Aunts and Out-of-State Uncles

Anali's rearin' to go on a bike ride with her Daddy!

He's going to hate me one day for this! And you're going to try pinching the screen, aren't you?

They like to be pulled around in this little wagon Dad made me when I was their age.

I know you miss them. Sorry I've been MIA in the bloggosphere. I'm ready for bed before their nightlights turn on most evenings. I'll try to keep up better. It will be my Thanksgiving resolution.

Asher Update - Eight Months

Asher started crawling last week, the day he turned eight months old. Brandon had him chasing a bottle across the room. Nothing like food to motivate my kids! When Brandon placed the bottle on the floor to go retrieve something, he noticed Asher started to make way for it. To encourage his movement, he kept inching the bottle away from Ash. It worked, and the boy started crawling. We’re excited. Babies are fun when they can move!

In his first afternoon, he was eating Anali’s barrettes though. Since then, he's been into my sweeping pile, Anali's Little People, and the soles of our shoes. We’re going to have to baby proof – fast. A little harder with a two-year-old tornado under the same roof.

On the food front, he's starting to branch out from my purees. Today, he ate whole wheat spaghetti noodles (broken up). It was pretty cute how he'd try to suck them into his mouth. He didn't do too badly, either. O's, soft carrots, and applesauce make him happy, too.

Thanksgiving Turkey, here we come!

Mousy

Halloween 2008

Anali Mouse and Little Bo Peep (Jasmine)

At Maris Farms

Anali Update

Anali is quite a character. She keeps us entertained from the moment she whacks us in the face with her teddy bear in the morning to the moment she crawls into her book-laden bed at night.

Some of her most recent sayings include:
"Jesus make it feel better." - He made my owie better!
"You probably want a sweater." - "Probably" is a new favorite word
"No, Asher, you hurt yourself!"
"Uh oh, Daddy made a mess. A big mess."
"Cheers! [as she clinks our glasses together] Just like Papa. Papa teach me that."

This evening, as I was telling her about tomorrow's trip to the aquarium to "look at the fish." She excitedly remarked, "Grab them! Reach my hand in and grab them! Just like Papa." Dad has a pond so plump with fish it's an unnecessary bother to use a pole and a reel to catch them. Apparently, he taught her another method!

Asher Update

It has been a delight to hear family and friends remark on Asher's easy smile. In naming him, I think we really captured this kid's character: happy! This afternoon, during our nearly four hour drive across the state, he made little more than a peep. Even in the final hour of the trip, he was sitting in a dirty diaper and allowing his sister to haphazardly feed him a cold bottle. No complaints. This sweet baby is such a blessing to us. I marvel at how he reminds us daily of the wonders of God's love.

Anali to Asher:

Asher sat beside the bathtub while I bathed Anali this evening. I kept trying to get him to smile, saying, "Asher Isaak. Asher Isaak." Then Anali decided to join in and really get him to smile. She cooed at him, then called, "Asher Isaak...I love you." It was SOOOOOO CUTE! She has never volunteered an "I love you!" before without our prompting. She says it to us when we ask her, but Asher was the first to receive her spontaneous "I love you!" It was priceless!

Slowing Down

Here is one way to delight in the little things. Anali enjoys watching the clothes wash, like in the Corduroy book.

I love it when babies learn to sit up! Asher is pretty steady now, so he can sit and play, choosing the toys he likes from his basket.

He's five months old today!

Bubbles

Grammy taught Anali how to "blow bubbles" on her I-Phone. You can make them float and pop them with your finger. It's incredible. The crazy thing is...she wasn't the only toddler in the room doing it. Her cousin had her own grandma's I-Phone doing the SAME THING! Pretty soon bubbles requiring soapy substances and sticky wands will become obsolete. What will they think of next?

Confessions of a Grump

I haven't been very fun to live with lately. I finally have a couple of weeks to enjoy with my family, and I'm finding that it's hard to learn to slow down. The result. I'm a grump.

I try to blame the four foot by five foot holes in my walls (Brandon just finished my beautiful laundry room cupboards, and now he is itching for more sawdust. So, we're getting new windows. I should be happy, but I can't use my bathroom because it's covered in sheet rock, and he didn't even move the clean laundry before he began attacking my wall!). Yeah, I could blame that, but I think it's me.

I think that I have allowed the pace of life to become so extraordinary that I get antsy when I have a day just for rest. I see all of the things I need to catch up with, and I know I can't fit them all in. How do women prioritize? Because I couldn't decide where to start I reverted to my old coping mechanism and READ. I gave myself permission to read a 972 page novel since all I've been reading lately are research studies. That won't happen again. I completely ignored my family. It's a wonder I bathed before I finished it. Next, I organized my closet. But I got distracted before I finished, so we're worse off than we started. I baked cookies. That was fun. But Anali couldn't help me because she wouldn't clean her peas off the floor.

Today, I put Anali in a timeout four times before I realized how completely ineffective I was being and how she is two, and of course she doesn't want to pick up the thirty peas she poured on the kitchen floor because her dollhouse is calling, and she wants me to read her a book. Then, I stopped and looked at her and realized that I had been with her all day but not with her. Asher, too. I tended to Asher's needs and tried to get him to smile every hour, but I wasn't making him a priority. I was waiting for nap time.

As I was putting my babies to bed tonight, I got it. I miss them. I miss being with them without listing in my head all of the things I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm grumpy because I've forgotten how to just be. I've been plowing through each day in survival mode, and I've forgotten how to look at my husband and appreciate that he thinks our bathroom needs more light. And I've forgotten how to hold my tongue (Let's pretend I once knew!), so I speak my mind, and I'm not often thoughtful enough about what he is doing right.

Maybe this is normal for mothers. I think it must be. To become so caught up in seeing to basic needs that we don't see to those other equally important needs. To see the crumbs on the counter and not the flowers in the vase. And get grumpy.

Well, cut it out for crying out loud! The whiny-bed-wetter-nag-woman stops here!

I love being a mother. And I love being a wife (Six years next Sunday!). So I'd better stop being a grump or saying "I love you" to my family won't mean much. I'm going to practice slowing down and loving well. Ask me how it's going.

A Trip to the Ocean

Here are some pictures from our recent trip to Seabrook, WA.

View Album

Get your own

Brandon built these cabinets for our laundry room. They're BEAUTIFUL! The only problem is the boost of confidence they gave him. I came home a few days later to a giant hole in my bathroom wall. Apparently, we're getting more windows too!

Asher - Four Months

Asher will be four months old on Thursday.

Favorite Toy: A pink butterfly with crackley wings
Favorite Time of Day: Toss up between "time to eat" and the moment he wakes up from a nap
Favorite Food: Milk
Favorite Color: If the pink butterfly is any indication...
Newest Noise: A little growl
Weight: TBD but we're guessing pushing 17 pounds

Jasmine, Anali, and Hannah painting pots for June's "Art Day"

Anali at the park

Asher, while Anali played at the park

Trying valiantly to sit up